I am fucking awesome at peeling oranges. I’m not sure how I acquired this skill or to which recessive gene I owe my gratitude, but peeling oranges is just my thing.
Some people really struggle. While they’re chipping away and getting little orange-peel nubs stuck under their finger nails, my peel quickly glides away from the orange. It’s like the orange is saying to me “Andy, you are so sexy. I would like to reveal myself to you in the most sensual way I can.” And then I’m all like “Orange, you are such a slut…but only for me. And I love you.”
The next time you’re jamming your thumb into an orange or considering saying “fuck it” and cutting it into wedges, consider my proximity. Not only will it save your day, but it’s really just a breathtaking thing to behold.
haha!! “Orange, you are such a slut” hehe…
so the next time I need to peel an orange, are you going to come down here and help me?
Who knew thumb dexterity was such a skill! But evidently, there’s a lady in distress west of Sterling that may need your assistance! You may just make the trip…
hehe..yes, there may be someone just west of Sterling who could use some help from a guy with good hands :-)
Ash 1 – I just said consider my proximity. If I’m around I’ll do it. But a special trip just to peel an orange? Don’t be ridiculous.
Raincouver – Why are you answering for me about making trips? I live in New York. I can barely afford a trip on the subway!
Ash 2 – You’re a real comments-flirt aren’t you? I see you on Dade’s all the time. I’m not falling for it…where the hell is Sterling anyway?
I’m the comments flirt? you left me a comment about who gets to see where you sleep :-) I only flirt with the cuties, if that makes you feel any better. Sterling is close to where I live
I don’t remember leaving any such comment. You must be imagining things.
Andy – busted on that comment thing!! I too saw that one about the mattress.
Once you get the Feb commissions you’ll have to jump on the Acela and find Ashburn, VA on the map. Hey- there’s great crabcakes!
All I said was I don’t have a bed, and that I need to buy a mattress. I fail to see how that is comment-flirting. Ash just wishes I was. hehe.